Jacksonville Dialysis

Ya know I never thought I would miss the place. Oh I knew I'd miss the people, but I never thought I'd miss the ride or the exhausting effort it took just to get Riley there three times a week. But oh how I miss it! I miss feeling like I had a job, a purpose, a goal to accomplish. I feel I lost my job - I got fired from a job I complained about alot. I know, I know I have the most important job on Earth - being a mom, but I just want to have something more. Is that selfish of me? I hope not, I'm just sharing my heart. Now don't get me wrong I'm very appreciatative for the gift of a new kidney (so much so that sometimes I feel guilty), but I just miss getting out, having a routine, a schedule. It feels impossible lately with a 7 month old. I know it will come. After all, Riley and Regan start school in August and Tate will settle into a routine at some point. I hope you understand these are just the ramblings of an overstressed mom who desperately wants to be with her oldest boy.

Anyway, we went to visit last Friday before Riley's surgery b/c we hadn't been in a while and I wanted to share some pictures.

Riley, Ms. Cindi doesn't have cooties - she just left you for the 6th floor!

Riley still loves him some Ms. Donna lovin'! Mama sure appreciates her allowing me to have a few meltdowns especially when I found out I was pregnant!

Gettin' smooches with Ms. Celine. Sorry, there's no more milk belly to tickle.

Checkin' out pictures on Ms. Lisa's phone - probably of Logan and Morgan

Riley's Wall of Growth - yes they really marked his height right on the wall - don't tell the administration!

Look What's Missing & an Update

(Other than his pants)....He doesn't have a feeding tube anymore! (Notice the little brown looking hole on the right side) Since he is eating so well now and we don't use it for formula and he doesn't have to take the one yucky medicine we were giving him by tube the docs said we could take it out. Yeah a new milestone for Riley (and Mommy).

Now the update...

Riley had surgery this past Tuesday to enlarge his bladder and build a mitrofanoff (tube from his bladder to abdominal wall) that we will use to cath his bladder. It was quite an extensive surgery - lasted more than 7 hours. He also had his central line catheter (the blue and red catheter in the above picture) removed and an under the skin port put in it's place, so now he can go swimming at the beach or a pool, take showers, and his most exciting realization the night before surgery..."Mama I'll be able to lay down and blow bubbles in the tub like Regan!" The surgery went well-they were able to do everything they had planned. Riley was really sore and in a lot of pain. We've had a few bumps in the road and up and down days, but all and all he's OK (Mama, not so much). My original plan was to stay up there at the Ronald McDonald house until discharge, but doing that with Regan and Tate was just impossible, even with my niece there to help. So, we came home on Wednesday. I've been loosing my mind ever since. I don't like this role. When he had his transplant I was there in the beginning, but then I had Tate and well obviously couldn't be with Riley. Now I want to be there! I'm supposed to be there! Please just pray for my sanity and peace. I'm really struggling lately - even before Riley's surgery.

Look What I Found...

Tate's first teeth! Can you see them? Aren't they precious? It felt like it took forever for them to come in. He sure was an ornery little dude for a while. The bad thing is now he's working on the top two!

He's Eating...ALOT!

I know it's weird that this is my first "real" post, but it's just what's on my mind tonight. We went to a local Mexican Restaurant tonight for supper and we just could not fill Riley up! I know some of you may be thinking "big deal", but it really is a big deal. You see for the first 4 years of his life Riley has received his main nutrition from formula through his feeding tube. It has only been since his kidney transplsnt that he has actually started eating anything much to speak of. He started first with pizza and BBQ chips (mind you the boy still loves him some of both), but now he will try just about anything. He still has a few things he just doesn't like (mashed potatoes and gravy and mac n cheese -pretty much anything mushy and cheesy). I've been taking pictures of his meals:

Valentine's Day cupcakes

Favorite lunch - rotisserie chicken & ketchup (that's a food group ya know!)

Good ol' Hamburger Helper Lasagna!

His favorite breakfast - bacon and eggs!

I've been taking these pictures partly because I was amazed and also b/c the ladies at dialysis in Jacksonville couldn't believe he was eating! (Hey ya'll!) I've got alot more i haven't downloaded from my camera, but I wish I had had my camera with me tonight. He ate 2 plates of chicken, beef, rice, french fries (ketchup), and corn. He wanted a third, but we felt we better not push it. Then later he asked for a salad like Regan. Thank you Lord for this boy's appetite. He has lost a good bit of weight in the last 3 months and we were a little worried we might need formula again, but I think Riley is just coming into his own at the dinner table. Way to go Big Boy!